How to find your Buoy of Safety when you are Drowning in Fear

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”  Les Brown My daughter and I were celebrating her high school graduation with a vacation in my home state, Hawaii. To make it extra special we purchased a zodiac/boat ride on Kauai for offshore snorkeling.  The zodiac raft raced us through the azure blue waters …

Your Anger is a Guide: Embrace It and Set Yourself Free

“Where there is anger there is always pain underneath.”—Eckhart Tolle In the sixth year of our marriage, my husband shocked me by telling me that he had decided on an open marriage. This would give him permission to do what he was already doing—having an affair. In one of my rare times of anger, I argued and struggled with him. …

How to Get the Love You Want

Who Doesn’t Want Love? Love is probably the most common human motivation. There are more songs about love than about any other subject. Love is probably the most important subject for most people. Yet how many of us think about what love is, and change our actions as a result of our inquiry? Do you know how to get the …

How to Heal a Broken Heart

Broken Hearts in Need of Healing I didn’t know my heart was broken and needed healing. Do you? There were two times in my life that I cried as if my heart were broken, but I was so caught up with my feelings at the time, I never realized that the tears came from a heart broken when I was …

What Are the Signs of Early Childhood Wounds?

Childhood Wounds?   In Your Difficult Family You Know You Didn’t Escape Being Wounded Compared to many, my childhood was calm and quiet, since both of my parents were introverts and never fought in front of us, if they fought at all. We didn’t witness any family dramas among the relatives either. In my Japanese-American home in Nuuanu on the …

How to Grow When You Hide from Your Fear-Based Choices

We Live Too Much with Fear-based Patterns I spent four hours listening to my delightful energetic 85-year-old cousin yesterday. In the last hour I could feel my energy waning and my head nearing explosion.  What should I do in the face of her saying, I don’t know whether I’ll be around on your next visit and there’s so much to tell …

The Power of Community=Love

The Richness of Community The first story in Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers is about a town called Roseta, Pennsylvania.  It is the result of thousands of immigrants from Roseta, Italy who escaped poverty to find the kind of work they knew in the quarries of Pennsylvania. The migration started with 9 and when news reached home, more and more came, until a …

How Knowing Character Structures Helps With Personal Development

Major Character Structures According to William Reich Are you an Enneagram 1 or 5 or ? Or on the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator (MBTI)–an INFP? ENTJ? ESTJ? Or in the Reich’s system: a schizoid? oral? rigid? It’s been helpful to me in understanding myself and others to use information from personality systems. I am an INFJ; a Rigid personality; and possibly …

Child-Heart and the Enneagram

How Enneagram Types May Help You Recognize Aspects of the Child-Selves The wounds, emotional makeup and strategies of each Enneagram type are described in the following paragraphs.  You may find bits of yourself in different types, and can check to see whether the relevant beliefs, wounding, strategies and defenses relate to how you live your life. Exploring Enneagram personalities is …